I received such positive feedback from my first and second pitch that I did not change very much. What stood out to me as important was being passionate about my product because that is what catches an investor's attention. I do not think any feedback I received was outright wrong or silly, but rather helpful. However, I could have made more improvements and adjustments if I had received more constructive criticism. One person told me I should introduce myself and give a little more background information about B-fast, which I took into account. Another told me to slow own when speaking which was also helpful.
Hey Lauren! Yes the Relish line makes me really impatient you are spot on! You did a great job of delivering your pitch with high energy. You also found a way to make your pitch relatable and entertaining the entire way through. I was very impressed and I think midtown needs B-fast. I could definitely see it being a hot spot among students. Once again great job and I think you would enjoy checking out my pitch http://cambent.blogspot.com/2016/03/elevator-pitch-no3.html
ReplyDeleteLauren,
ReplyDeleteI absolutely love this idea. I constantly find myself in this struggle, especially after a night out at midtown. I end up not eating because I already spent too much on uber and beverages at the bar, so having an affordable breakfast place will really penetrate the college market. You were very succinct and delivered the pitch really well. My only suggestion would be to use more hand gestures to really drive the point home about how imperative B-fast is to the Gainesville area. Overall, I loved your idea and think you did a great job and conveying it in a short and sweet manner. Here it the link to my final elevator speech: http://entrepreneurshipleslie.blogspot.com/2016/03/elevator-pitch-no-3.html. Good luck with your venture!
Love this idea! I definitely think that Gainesville could benefit from this! I could defiantly tell that you were passionate about your business, but my only note would be to spend more time explaining what your business does than selling the audience. The idea truly can sell itself and I think it starts to sound a little too much like a commercial when you open with the "Do you ever..." questions in the beginning. Trust that you're idea is amazing and just spend time talking more about that and maybe why it's important to you or different from other places in midtown. Great job overall, though!
ReplyDeleteCheck out my pitch over on my blog.
http://ent3003max.blogspot.com/2016/03/elevator-pitch-no-3.html